Making room for things

There's no getting away from it... My house is full. Two children, all their toys. It's bedlam here. Something has to change. But what? Do we have a throw-out of old toys and junk? Do we buy a new house? Do we get an extension on our present house? Do we re-organise furniture? 

There are so many options. 

When meditating on this problem a couple of weeks ago, I was struck by a realisation that our lives are like this. Sometimes we want to change, but we cannot  because there is no room in our lives for change. It made me think about the bigger picture of how I was living my life.

I came to the realisation that there was a lot of emotional clutter caused by useless activities I was doing, simply because other people wanted me to do them.  I decided to stop doing these things. Now let me be clear, there is a lot of things that people ask me to do, which are useful. These things, I continue to do. This is not a slackers mandate.

I started this two weeks ago, and although at times it has been challenging, I have space in my life again. But a strange thing has happened. New opportunities have started to present themselves to me. It seems that the meditation is correct - you cannot possibly get new things and change in your life until you make room for them.

As for the house - I guess a clear out is on the horizon. Now I just need to work out what we need and what we don't. As far as my stuff is concerned, it is easy. Somehow, I think my Wife and the children's stuff will be a more difficult issue.

Something new is coming

I recently attended a social evening at a new consciousness centre in Somerset.

Nestled in the tiny hamlet of Otterhampton, the Parsonage Side Retreat is the brainchild of the Bexx family and the culmination of many years of hard work. They have taken an old set of buildings  and created a nurturing space with accommodation for 17, and large rooms for hire and meditation spaces.

Those who are familiar with the Monroe Institute and their use of Binaural technology will feel right at home with PSR's state-of-the-art CHEC units. Nestled within these small rooms, advanced sounds are played to alter your state of consciousness and allow you to experience profound states of meditation, learning, focus or relaxation.

Other more conventional activities are already planned, with healing, meditations, chanting and consciousness workshops. Visit the website to find out their up and coming schedule.

As I sit and ponder this impressive facility that the Bexx family have created, my mind is drawn to one of my favourite quotes by Rumi: 

‎"Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love."

To me, it is clear that they have been strongly drawn by love to create a space for exploration, contemplation, healing and discovery. It is evident in the very fabric of the building - a building that will be the foundation for positive change for many, many years to come.

Ten percent worry

About two months ago, I was playing on the sofa with my 1 year old daughter. She grabbed my arm and I jumped through the roof in unexpected pain. On closer inspection, I found a sizeable lump under the skin. There was no discolouration of the skin or any pain - just when it was grabbed by a small child with sharp nails. It looked for the world like a cyst of some kind.

But it played on my mind, and later that evening, I searched my body and found two other lumps. One was about 4 inches from the original lump, and the other was under my other arm, near my armpit.

I scoured a couple of medical dictionaries, and made a self-diagnosis of Lipomas. Lipomas are benign cysts of fibrous material that appear in the layer of fat under the skin. There is no medical reason why they appear, they just do. I was 90% sure that these lumps were Lipomas. I rang the doctor's surgery several times to make appointments, and the administrators were so unhelpful, I decided to wait a couple of weeks until I had some time off work.

When I finally got an appointment, my doctor took one look and said they were probably Lipomas, but that I should go for an ultrasound scan to be 100% sure that they weren't malignant cancers. 

I was very pleased that the doctor agreed with what I thought, and went along to the scan. The doctor who took me through the scan explained everything. We saw the first tumour, and we could see clearly that it was the correct colour and that there was no blood supply. He repeated the procedure with the other two lumps, and they all showed up as Lipomas.

It was at that moment that I realised that the 10% of doubt had been weighing me down for a month. I really don't like worrying about things going wrong until I am certain that things have gone wrong. But it goes to show that doubt can drag you down and lay you low.

So what have I learned about this?

• Doctors' receptionists are a layer of unqualified triage. If you have a worry, be assertive and insist. I could have saved two weeks of worry if I had been more insistent. If my tumours had been malignant, I would have delayed vital treatment.
• If you find a lump, get it checked out by qualified doctors and specialists as soon as possible. Not knowing is far worse than you think.

Ultimately, it has been a timely reminder of my mortality and that I should be living my life more. I'm not sure how this shall take form, but watch this space.....

The age of the phone?

The last 3 years have seen an explosion in the popularity of smart phones. Whether you want one or not, unless you have lived under a stone, it's impossible to avoid seeing one in action.  

These phones are like mini computers, allowing the user to not only make telephone calls, but also manage communication and information from a variety of sources, including SMS messaging, internet, email and wifi networks. They take and edit photographs, play music and films. The very latest ones now offer face-to-face video calls. 

I believe that these communication devices were inevitable. As humans, we have an instinctive desire to keep in contact with the people we care about. As more and more of our lives is consumed by the demands for work, the smartphone allows us to keep reassuring each other without having to step away from our desks or shops. Conspiracy theorists would no doubt have a field day with this idea. However, it brings me to my first point..

Are we becoming too reliant on this technology for reassurance? Is it a crutch? Undoubtedly, many people will be using their phones as a means of emotional support. It is so reassuring to know that the emergency services, all your friends, and all of the information and all  the services that the internet offers are there for you - instantly. You can get your friends social status and personal information at the touch of a button. A recent survey with teenagers said that they would rather go without anything else than their phones (perhaps this is no surprise to parents of teenagers!). Are we breeding a generation of phone junkies who fall apart when separated from their phones? Perhaps.....

But, I truly believe the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks. There are so many areas of society who have benefitted from the smartphone. Many people fear information overload. I consider this as a challenge to our generations, but future ones will adapt. I see the increasing complexity of our technology as a sign of humanity's collective consciousness improving. The more connections we make, the more knowledge we share and the more issues we discuss will only serve to broaden our understanding of what it is to be human.

Love them or loathe them... smart phones are going to be with us for a while. The challenge will not be whether we can make new technologies, but whether we can resist using them for personal gain at the expense of others - like warfare, unethical selling and spying.

Modern Weapons

One of the joys of learning traditional martial arts is that you get to train with some pretty interesting weapons. There are swords, knives, sabres, spears, whips and all manner of sticks. Personally, I love the Chinese Straight Sword (or Jian). I find it a quick, light, precise weapon that suits my body size and style. I love the movements and postures. The Chen sword form is one of my favourite forms.

But in the real world, how can I possibly carry my sword down the street without attracting lethal retribution from the local rapid response unit? In short - I can't. It is against the law for me to have a sword in public when I am not travelling to and from my place of practice. And what's more - swords are a relic from a bygone era. You are more likely to be confronted by an attacker with a concealed weapon like a knife or a gun. If an assailant has a gun, your sword is going to be pretty useless.

There are a whole plethora of small weapons that can be concealed. One of the most popular is a metal pen that can be used as a weapon:

But to be honest, any hard, blunt object can be jabbed into your assailant's tender spots - sharp handle to a brush - anything. Use your imagination.

Have you seen "The Men Who Stare At Goats"? It is a film about an American military group who were inspired by the new age movement. It is an interesting subtle film - well worth a look. But what has caught the imagination of modern martial artists has been this clip:

This is an actual weapon that was produced - and is still being used by the US troops in Iraq.

This seemingly innocent piece of plastic is used to exert pressure against the vulnerable parts of the body to cause pain. This pain can be used to neutralise an attack and then as an aid to make your assailant compliant.

Although the movie calls them "Predators", they are called "Defenders" in the shops. I have one of these weapons, and I have to say they are brilliant. Although they are ruthlessly efficacious, I don't believe they are a good weapon to carry, because they do not have an innocent use. Even a hand gun can be used to hunt for food (theoretically). There is no innocent use for the Defender. It is purely designed to inflict pain.

Traditional weapons like nunchucks, three-piece staffs and the 10 piece whips were all based on rice flails - things that were in everyday use during simpler times. So consider the applications that the Defender videos show, and try to find everyday things that are close to hand - like pens, keys, hairbrushes, coins, combs, torches (maglites) etc. They could become your best friend in an emergency.

Re-prioritising

As the academic year comes to a close at East Cheshire Community Education, it is time to reflect upon an eventful year. The recession is starting to bite, and this has been reflected in the trials and tribulations faced by myself and many of my students. Three have had children, one has got married, two have changed their jobs and four have moved to another area.

The one thing that becomes clear is that many people have used the recession to take stock of their lives, work out what they truly want and re-prioritise accordingly. Although undeniably stressful, it is also a time where we let go of behaviours, beliefs and aspirations that hold us back.

One of the easiest ways of cutting back is to cancel that gym membership, give up your regular exercise or quit a hobby that costs you money. Be careful about doing this. It is easy to label activities that keep your health and sanity as being superfluous and wasteful. It is also tempting to work longer hours in the pursuit of money in case you may lose your job. Denying yourself your health and recreation is storing up problems that will prove more costly in the long term. Short term gains may result in long term burnout.

So when re-prioritising during a recession, stay clear of a mentality based on fear and protectionism. This is not a mandate to keep spending and ignoring the climate. It is about nurturing yourself and growing in a new direction.

Mental viruses

The internet has proved a fantastic tool for the circulation of ideas and concepts. It unites groups of people with common interests and is the perfect forum for discussions and networking.

There is a down side. The internet is also a breeding ground for a phenomena that I call the Mental Virus. A mental virus is like a computer virus. It is a thought or belief that has no possible use to the owner other than the creation of fear and mistrust. It spreads from person to person and is almost impossible to get rid of. An older version of the mental virus is the urban myth.

Urban myths were rife before the internet. Whoever told you about them said that they happened to "a friend of a friend". Generally, there is no proof that they happened, and there is an element of possibility. Here are a few:

• The old woman who dried her wet dog in the microwave and the dog exploded.
• There are alligators in the sewer put there by people buying them as pets and flushing them down the toilet.
• The young woman who stopped to help an old woman whose car had broken down. She offers to give the old woman a lift to a garage, and notices manly hairs on the back of her hand and drives off before the old woman can get in the car. It is only when she stops that she finds that the old lady's handbag contains a large knife or a small axe.

Mental viruses are just like urban myths, but are on a much grander scale. They start with an idea that snowballs into international conspiracies and life and death issues. People do enormous amounts of research that joins together unrelated facts to make a unified whole.

Some other mental viruses are as follows:

• All modern inventions like computers and stealth aircraft are inspired by recovered flying saucers being reverse-engineered by the US government.
• Princess Diana's death was ordered by the royal family.
• Humanity is being secretly enslaved and ruled by seven foot blood-drinking lizards.
• When NASA landed on the moon, they found alien bases and have been covering it up since.
• NASA never landed on the moon. It was all a hoax.
• The nazis landed on the moon during the second world war.

When you first look at the concepts, they appear pretty far-fetched. But the people who perpetuate mental viruses spend a great deal of time researching for phenomena and facts that support their ideas. They then place these facts into a logical order to build up a picture that points to their theory. They also conveniently ignore all evidence that points to a more logical conclusion. But when you de-construct their arguments, they don't bear well under scrutiny. Many of the conclusions are measured incorrectly - like trying to say that someone is 6 ft tall by weighing them.

More dangerous mental viruses can be perpetuated by religious cults and groups. In these cases, mental viruses are the start of extremist behaviour.

So when learning new concepts on the internet, please consider whether you are taking on a mental virus. Consider whether there is significant scientific backing for the facts and concepts. Also, consider how the ideas influence how you feel about yourself and others. Be rational, sceptical and challenge everything. Ask the right questions, and many of these theories fall down like a house of cards.