You know you've been doing tai chi too long when...

• All your shoes have extremely thin soles.
• All of your casual trousers are loose-fitting "just in case".
• You are afraid to open your car boot (trunk) at supermarkets, because you forgot to take your swords out after the last class.
• When shaking hands with people you test their rooting.
• When standing with people, you can't help lowering your centre of gravity below theirs.
• People with one shoulder higher than the other really irritate you. And as for people with stoops..!
• At the bus stop, you miss your bus because you were zoned out while attaining wuji.
• Your significant other complains that if you rotate your lower dantien while watching a movie together one more time, it will be divorce!!!!
• You go into a period of mourning when your favourite tai chi shoes are too worn to be useful.
• All your clothes are black... or red .... or black and red..... or white.
• Unlike everyone else, you really do know what your chinese symbol tattoos mean.
• All your anecdotes start with "When I was in China...."
• You have many silk kung fu suits... but the trousers are significantly more worn and faded than the jackets and no longer match.